I'm no Flaubert, you'll be suprised to hear, but at various points I have toyed with the idea of writing a contemporary version of his 'Dictionary of Received Ideas'. I actually see there is a facebook group dedicated to this, but they don't seem to have got very far. I can't achieve Flaubert's devastating wit and ability to capture the true banality, but out of semi-annoyance I can't resist a couple of attempts.
Academics, never live in the 'real world', don't understand business
Activist, never an academic, involved in the real world
Art, neither autonomous nor propoganda. Always problematising, questioning, making one think. Provocative, but never be so vulgar as to be actually shocked.
Blogs, destroying our culture or giving birth to a new public sphere. When meeting a blog writer always express suprise they find time to write it, never visit.
Deconstruction, passe, but express admiration for Derrida
Difference, see Same
Fundamentalism, condemn in all forms
Lenin, misunderstood, admire tentatively
Marxism, always teleological, stagist, and reductivist. Express appreciation for the thought of Marx, but with the proviso it won't quite do today.
The Novel, 'Dead', or 'In better health than ever (thanks to Coetzee)'
Novels, always be writing one.
Rhizome, better than trees, see Tree
Same, see Difference
Sex, now liberated
Temporary Autonomous Space, live in one
Tree, worse than rhizomes, see Rhizome
Zizek, too popular, really a Stalinist, but always provocative